Tag: trust

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Ginger & Jason

This post is really only for family and close friends who knew me back when married and younger. Ginger and I divorced in 1990 and Jason tried several things before, in over simplification, ran away and had nothing to do with me since the mid-nineties except for a few times wanting money. I tried connecting with him several times but we lived in totally different worlds and could never connect.

Sometime in the last 5 years he decided to become a transsexual and except for a few close friends, I told no one. How do you? With several gay friends I had come to understand or accept homosexuals, but as I told Jason, I have no experiences with trans and no understanding of it. We remained apart, still not understanding each other. He chose not to stay in communication and I had no addresses or phone number.

A couple of weeks ago I received my first contact from Jason in nearly 5 years. He has legally changed his name to Athena and wrote to tell me that his mother (my wife of 20 years) was dying of cancer and might not last through the week. He needed to see her and close out her business and other affairs. Of course, I paid to fly him from Asheville, NC to Gatesville, TX and other related expenses. He spent a week with her in a Gatesville nursing home. He emptied and closed out her apartment, shipping himself 16 boxes. And all arrangements are made for her to stay in the nursing home until she dies by signing over her Social Security check. Her will and the deposition of her ashes are also arranged. So my little boy has grown up and handled one of the toughest times of life, though she still has not died yet.

We have corresponded several times by email and I am again trying again to “connect” with Jason/Athena, though still not sure how or if possible. He is about to turn 43 and showing some interest in family history for the first time, so that is certainly part of my language. 🙂 We will see what happens. Your prayers are appreciated! And maybe my post of last night makes a little more sense now. God is my rock and my salvation!

As most of you know, I don’t like to keep secrets and not good at it, so again I’m being very open and honest and simply trusting God to be in charge. Thank you for allowing that in me. It is good to have friends!

MY LIFE VERSES

  Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own understanding;
  think about Him in all your ways,
and He will guide you on the right paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6, Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)

Dios es bueno 
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Trust in God Alone

Not a beautiful building
like the Catholics, but
The most loving people
found anywhere!
Today’s sermon at Iglesia Biblica was very well presented and in two languages! After the Lord’s Supper (communion) we heard an exposition of Psalm 27 with the closing challenge to memorize the last verse (14): 

Wait for the Lord;
be strong and courageous.
Wait for the Lord.
Psalm 27:14 HCSB



And last night’s devotional in Open Windows was sort of my answer to Psalm 27 & today’s sermon with the first two verses in Psalm 62:

Psalm 62
Trust in God Alone

1 I am at rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from Him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my stronghold; I will never be shaken.

My faith is as strong or stronger than it was in the states with a lot less church activity but just as much or more dependence on God. And I am at peace. Tomorrow I will tell you about the latest development with what is left of my family, my son and ex-wife, though I have hesitated to share publicly, I’m feeling led to do so. And regardless what happens next, I live by the above verses and “I will never be shaken.”

And one of the neat things from church today is that the translator between English and Spanish (Both directions, depending on who is preaching each 1st Sunday) is named Zaray, a local school teacher and one of my two Spanish teachers who this week started a new “Intermediate Spanish” class that I’m in with 3 other students. I am a very slow language learner, but it is beginning to “click” and be more fun and I have hope of improving, “poco a poco.”   🙂

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Merton’s Prayer of Abandonment

Arenal Volcano

 

I made this photo from the “Hanging Bridges” in the area in 2010. It is the most popular volcano because of its nearly perfect conical shape. It also reminds me of the strength and steadfastness of God in my life.


I just shared this on my spiritual blog called HIS SPIRIT which has been neglected lately with my focus on Costa Rica (and no longer using), but because it is as much about my move to Costa Rica and the risk so many here in Nashville think I am taking, I decided to share it on this blog too: 

As I am two days away from the move to Costa Rica, I am trusting God more and expecting Him to give me more purpose in life than I have felt in my simple volunteering in church and other places here in Nashville. And the fact that I don’t know everything that will happen is part of the adventure and excitement of the move. I am abandoning a lot of supposed security here in the states, though financially I know it will just get more difficult for me in the states. (And friends will still be friends from afar!) In the process of this thinking I was reminded of the poem/prayer by Thomas Merton which I may have shared somewhere earlier. I discovered it in 2012:

Prayer of Abandonment
Thomas Merton
 
My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain
where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and that I think I am following your will
does not mean I am actually doing so.
But I believe
the desire to please you
does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire
in all I am doing.
I hope
I will never do anything
apart from that desire.
And I know if I do this
you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
I will trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear,
for you will never leave me
to face my perils alone.